Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
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