Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
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