you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
