The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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