Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
