I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
