I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
there was a trapeze. enough said
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
