I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Randomize
