Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
