i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
