We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize