she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Randomize
