Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
