I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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