but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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