you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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