she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize
