Plan B is the new Plan A
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
