I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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