Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
