My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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