She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Randomize
