I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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