I just cut my nipple shaving
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
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