I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
why does every cop we meet know your name?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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