You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
