Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
