He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
