I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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