Need sex. Gaining weight.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
