Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
