I wanna passion pit in your ass
love makes seman taste better
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
