You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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