i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
