I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
