i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
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