I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
Randomize
