We're like a lot better than the average bears
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
