But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
