WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
