"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize