Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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