Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
