Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
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it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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