eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
