Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Randomize
