Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I am puke
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
