it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Randomize
