yo i stole a wine glass from the ritz but i spilled wine on my hundo dolla shirt
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
