Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Less talking, more tequila
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
