Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
