you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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