he shaved USA in his pubs
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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