bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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