She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize