woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
My balls are so social today.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
