Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Randomize
