ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
there was a trapeze. enough said
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
