I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
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