So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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